let justice roll like a river . . .

This is a quote from Justice in the Burbs. I linked it in someone else's post about a year ago, but thought it was worth posting the actual quote.

Jesus lives next door. He's an eight-year-old girl and her three-year-old brother. The Son of Man looks like those starving Ethiopian children. He only gets breakfast and lunch at school, when he makes it. His mama is a crack whore. Nobody knows where his daddy is. I heard his mama lets her "Johns" do things to him.

Poor King of Kings.

Jesus is two houses down and has six children. Now he's pregnant with the seventh. I don't know if he hasn't figured out what birth control is, or what, but how does he expect his husband to feed all those babies on that salary? And you know with all those kids the Lord of Lords can't work. That means hardworking taxpayers' money has to go for Christ's food stamps!

He needs to get fixed.

The Lord is a crazy man—paranoid schizophrenic. If he doesn't take his medication, he walks up and down the street, cussing and spitting on everybody he passes. He's homeless. Nobody knows where his family is--if he's got one. Digs out of the trash cans for food. Somebody ought to get him off the street.

Jesus is nothing but a nuisance.

I'm starting to see the Son of God everywhere I go. He's always crying or begging or looking pitiful. Why doesn't he pull himself up by his bootstraps? This is America! Makes me mad. He's ruining our neighborhood.

Somebody ought to do something about him.

Somebody.

Try reading this out loud to your spouse. I dare you not to cry.